Foster Care Blues

One of the things that you don't count on too much doing foster care is the pain of seperation.

Taking care of children is a rewarding endeavor; however, taking care of someone else's children has some draw backs. You become attached to them. This is not so much a draw back as a casualty of the process. You take time to nurture, care and provide for a child and when the time comes they return to their families.

What you don't count on is the pain associated with that seperation. You may see them again and you may not.

My mother exprienced the same thing a few times; my own oldest daughter for example, she was without her mother. Her mother died shortly after she my oldest was born. I was a single father who relied on my own mother to babysit while I was working. My mother's casualty came when I remarried and my oldest no longer needed the constant babysitting from my mother. Now the difference in her case was she still gets to see my daughter regularly.

My casualty is not knowing how they are doing, not seeing or hearing from them and not being able to just call up and see how school is going...

I wouldn't change a thing - but ouch...

Money...

Money… We all want it and yet none of us seem to have it. I have something to say and nowhere to say it.

Didn’t the government give out a ton of money to banks so that they could float the small businesses?

I recently being a small business owner went to a local bank that took tarp money to apply for a loan to help us get through this tough economic time. Not a lot of money, just enough to help cover some expenditures until a large contract we just won starts.

That was 2 months ago and do you know what they said. “… You have excellent credit but we are worried that your current capital won’t cover our losses if you fail…” What? Are they kidding?

The purpose of the loan is to keep the business solvent long enough to begin making those large sums of money again. Doesn’t make sense to me… here we went lent this money to save you, but you are not making it now so we can’t help you survive.

Why take the money? I guess that is the question. They are just trying to fill back up their pockets with money they lost when they lent improperly. That is why we are in this mess now. Now I am just a small man who doesn’t know much, but something is afoot.

Reminiscent

Ok, it's been awhile since I blogged - remember I'm still new to this idea. It seems that everywhere I go, it is blog this or blog that. Twitter this or twitter that, even T.V. commercials are referring to twitting.

Remember the days when you had to telephone your friends or just meet them in the park or at their house if you wanted to hang or talk? Must be my age.

I can't help but think that time flies. I was just a kid playing in the yard worrying about nothing other than what fun I was going to have today. Look at us now... how are we going to pay the bills. Is work going to keep us fed and warm this winter?

Not only that but now we have kids to worry about. I recently told one of our children that she needs to be a kid - she is 13 and worries way to much about her future. Now to her credit she is in foster care and is carrying around way too much for a girl her age, but my point to her is still true. "Healthy adults come from healthy children, and Unhealthy adults come from unhealthy children." (me) She needs to run and play, make friends and worry about what fun she is going to have today. Let the adults worry about the other things, the bills, the utility bills and etc. She should be worried about how many friends she has made this new school year. Which ones she will invite over for the weekend?

What about that 1st love... that 1st time driving a car... these should be the types of memories she is building. Unfortunately her circumstances are different than most and she does have other things on her mind. Oh the things these children today have to deal with.

Anyway my "play" days are over in that sense. Now I enjoy working to make the lives of my children better. What do they say - "...my only wish in life is that my children grow up and become 'better' than me..." (unknown). Like most parents I love my children, even the ones that came to us through unconventional means. May they always be happy...

Caring

Image via Wikipedia

Ok, I had to post again today - I know I just said that I was new to this blogging game but I may as well use this to stay sane too.

My wife just came into my office and started to cry. Now most of us men when this happens usually start to run down the list of reasons that we are probably to blame for the tears but luckily this time I was not the offender.

You see, she is crying because she just realized that when some of the children in our home go home to their biological moms she is going to miss them.

This morning she began reading the book "Fablehaven" (http://www.fablehaven.com/ ) the 1st book, to our large group of 9 kids. After reading the book and watching the kids all playing and getting along she came down and let me know that she was not sure she could handle the eventual loss of the kids leaving.

You see that is one of the causualties of fostering children, you attach to them and then they leave.

This is what happens to all parents I guess - children grow up and leave and the parents are left with only their memories and regrets, right?

New to Blogging and Foster care

Image by jpstanley via Flickr

Hi, my name is Shane I have been a foster dad a little over 6 months now. We currently have a household of 11 making for very busy days - luckily I run a small business from home and my wife is a stay at home mom.

I created this blog because there is so little collaboration regarding the care of foster children here in Utah County, Utah, at least that I am able to find - where do we go for resources, who is going through what I am and how do I connect with them.

I want to create a place where anyone not just dad's can go for resources - somewhere we can go to find people who can share and help ease some of the suffering this children feel.

I am not sure where this blog is going to go so please jump in and let's make a community of foster parents that can help each other out.

Summer is upon us and some of us out there are dreading each day because the kids do not want to be bored and we are running out of ideas to help keep them busy and entertained.

Anyone have any ideas?

What things have you been doing to keep your families entertained and running at full speed ahead.